I’ve reached the final month of pregnancy, and I can hardly believe it. 36 weeks! How surreal it feels to have made it this far.
This morning, I sat in my home and watched out the window as the snow fell softly from the trees. I decided to take out my journal from our IVF journey, and read through each entry slowly, so as to relive each and every moment. In doing so, I felt the sharp pains of sadness, grief and loss all over again. But I also felt peace. Peace with our story and how it has brought us to where we are and who we are today. I fully believe that a peace like that can come only from God, His protection and His faithfulness. I felt the pitter patter of our little one’s kicks in my belly as I read about our first miscarriage, then the loss of our second baby, and then our final two. This child, soon to be born, is without a doubt our miracle. I’m reminded of that every day.
I’ve had several friends and acquaintances reach out lately to discuss their own infertility journey, or to ask if it would be alright to give my contact information to someone they know who is walking a similar journey to ours. I want to mention just how honored I am to create these connections with others. If you or someone you know is just starting to look into options, or perhaps is actively pursuing fertility treatments, I am always happy to be of support. I think it goes without saying that I am an open book when it comes to our experiences, both the positive and the negative, and one of the main purposes of this blog is to reach others who may be walking a similar journey. Never hesitate to reach out!
People ask me almost daily how I am feeling and if I am ready for the baby to come. Fortunately, I have been feeling pretty well! We are currently in our busiest season of the year at work (for those who don’t remember or are reading of the first time – I am a nurse 😊) so I stay quite active each day and my elephant-sized ankles at the end of the day remind me of that 😉 I have been experiencing some unpleasant acid reflux the last month or so, but nothing a little Tums can’t assist with! I’ve been seeing a chiropractor weekly and that has helped tremendously with the back pain I’ve had since the start of my third trimester. I highly recommend chiropractic care during pregnancy (just make sure they have prenatal training), and I do plan to continue after pregnancy for both myself and baby, if the need arises!
Are we ready for baby? I’d say as ready as we can be! Our nursery is complete, and I can’t wait for you all to see it, as well. It’s such a peaceful space and a sacred place which I’ve dreamed of and envisioned for quite some time. We have finished up some home projects we had been putting off, and I’m trying to keep things as clean as possible. Between the two of us though, I’d say Dave is definitely the one who is in “nesting” mode. 😊 He initiates organizing closets and moving things around to create more space for the baby and all of the things that we have been blessed to receive from our multiple baby showers. He loves to read to the baby when we are winding down at night, and after I’ve gone to bed, he will often stay up and read in the rocker in the nursery.
We took three amazing child-prep classes through our hospital as well as Amma Parenting Center in Edina. The classes each had a different focus: breastfeeding, childbirth preparation, and “Newborns 101”. It was fun to engage with other couples in each class, learn new information, and practice some skills we’ve never done before! I also plan on signing up for the “New Mama Class” through Amma, which is a 6-week class that meets once per week (moms and their infants) and allows for additional education and relationship building! I’ve heard great things about this group opportunity, and since my maternity leave falls during the coldest, darkest time of the year, I want to seek out any opportunity I can to get out of the house and socialize/learn with other new mamas!
On Wednesday of this week we had our 36-week doctor appointment – the first of the final weekly appointments leading up to the birth of our child. At this appointment, we had an ultrasound, as I have had a sneaky suspicion that our little one is breech. Well, the ultrasound indeed confirmed this. We then had an in-depth conversation with my doctor about our options: either we schedule a C-Section, or we attempt what is called an External Cephalic Version (ECV) to flip the baby into a head down position. My goal is and has always been to have a vaginal delivery, if it is medically safe, so we decided we would like to attempt the ECV. The procedure is scheduled for this coming Monday. I will check in to the Labor and Delivery unit at our hospital at 7:30am, have an IV started, and receive a dose of a medication to relax my uterus (I wish it could relax my nerves, too!!). Then, with ultrasound guidance and fetal monitoring, our doctor will attempt to maneuver the baby into the birthing position. When I asked what to expect, my doctor was very transparent and stated it would be quite painful/uncomfortable, but we will take as many breaks as I need. I can’t help but feel anxious! There is about a 50% chance of it being successful, and if it is not, we will go ahead and schedule a C-Section. I have to remind myself that no matter the outcome on Monday, our ultimate goal is simply to deliver a healthy baby. Prayers, however, would be greatly appreciated! 😊
I hope everyone has a safe, happy and healthy holiday season – Baby B will be here before we know it!!!
XO,
Em
North of Hope 