North of Hope

Well hellllooooooo second trimester!  My, how I have longed for you!

Thanks, everyone, for your patience with me as I have worked through the first few months of my pregnancy in relative silence from the blogging standpoint.  I haven’t had much energy or enough time free from nausea to sit down and put my thoughts in writing.  But finally, at sixteen weeks, I am finally starting to feel a bit more like myself!  The nausea is still present intermittently throughout the day, but it is much more tolerable.  I plan to go back to bible study this week, and hope to begin engaging in social activities again like a normal human being. 😊

Since my last post, as mentioned above, we entered into our second trimester, and have had two additional OB appointments which have been brief, but included listening to our baby’s beautiful heartbeat.  I truly believe there is no better sound in the world.  We did invest in an at-home doppler, which some people may think is foolish (as it can cause increased anxiety when the heartbeat can’t be located or heard).  For us, it has been a source of comfort, a way for us to check in on our little one and receive affirmation that growth is taking place.  And for that reason, we don’t regret it at all!  Forty dollars well spent, in my opinion.  Our next appointment is the big 20-week ultrasound on August 7^th!!  It’s incredible to believe that on that day, we will be half way through our pregnancy.  The pregnancy that took over a year to achieve, through hundreds of needles and whole lot of prayer

My diet throughout the first trimester consisted of mainly carbohydrates and basically zero vegetables.  I am happy to report that salads are starting to sound appealing again, and I have expanded my flavor profile beyond cheerios and macaroni and cheese.  I’ve also gotten some energy back to do my Barre workouts most mornings before work, and that brings me so much joy!  Working out increases your endorphins, and I definitely notice an elevated mood throughout my entire day when I start my morning with exercise.  As of this week (16 weeks) I am starting to notice a small bump in my lower abdomen!  I never thought I’d be so happy to have tight fitting clothes. 😊

Sleep has been a bit of a struggle, as I am awoken frequently by the need to go to the bathroom.  But for those who know me, I had what seems to be the smallest bladder in the world prior to pregnancy, so this isn’t a surprise!  I am typically a back sleeper as well, and since sleeping on your back in pregnancy is prohibited after the first trimester due to restriction of oxygen/blood flow to the uterus and baby, I’m struggling to learn another sleeping position.  Perhaps when my stomach gets larger, it will seem more natural to sleep on my side.  If anyone has a suggestion for a good pregnancy pillow for sleep, I would love your input!

We’ve begun to envision our design for the nursery, which makes all of this feel that much more real.  Dave painted while I was away this past weekend visiting a friend in Indianapolis, and I’ve picked out a few decor items.  We have not purchased a crib or any furniture yet – one thing at a time!  We’ve managed to keep the gender to ourselves, although it has been a huge struggle and takes a conscious effort in each and every conversation we have!

I’ve also started to do some research on registry items!  Dave mentioned in the post he previously wrote that I love Target (I mean, what woman doesn’t?), but if I’m being honest, I’ve always had to avoid the baby section.  It tore at my heart and made me long for something that was always so far from reach.  I now find myself walking slowly through that section, dreaming of what little outfits will clothe our child and what bassinet our baby will sleep in next to my side.  It’s been fun to learn about items that other moms recommend – please send any recommendations my way!  I’d love your must-have list!!

Has my anxiety stopped yet?  No way!  I still worry daily, about my body and its capability to nurture and care for our growing child.  But I have found comfort in daily devotionals which center around trusting God and finding freedom from fear.  If you are someone who struggles with anxiety – I encourage you to remember that God desires you to pursue peace.  He desires for you to learn to cast your cares on Him.  He desires to turn your ashes into something beautiful.  I know this because I have experienced it firsthand.  And God’s word says so.

“With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgement.  Always let him lead you, and He will clear the road for you to follow.” – Proverbs 3.

Prayers for a healthy, uneventful 20-week appointment would be more than appreciated!!  As always, thank you all for your love, your following, and your encouragement.

XO,
Emily