As I sit down to write about the first month with our son, I’m overwhelmed with a wide array of emotions: joy, gratitude, sadness, peace, to name a few. It is bittersweet to know that the chapter of pregnancy has come to a close for our family. While it didn’t come easy (getting pregnant, maintaining a pregnancy and navigating symptoms), I will be forever grateful to have had the opportunity to experience it and ultimately welcome two healthy babies into the world.
Birth Story
For some background – I was induced electively with Reese at 39 weeks. This time around, although my induction experience was phenomenal, I wanted to experience what it was like to go into labor on my own, especially since I knew this would be my final pregnancy and labor/delivery.
On Sunday, April 10th, at 1:00am I woke up feeling mild contractions. I started timing them and noted they were roughly 7 minutes apart. They were tolerable, but significant enough that I could not fall back asleep. After three consecutive contractions, I decided to wake Dave and let him know that this may be “it”. I was hesitant to get too excited, as the Wednesday prior I had contractions which were anywhere from 10-20 minutes apart for twelve hours, and then halted. Regardless, I got up, ensured that the final items were added to our hospital bag, and took a shower. After another hour or so, my contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, so we decided to call Dave’s parents who live 25 minutes away to have them start making their way to our house. When they arrived, we drove to Ridgeview Medical Center in Waconia, and on our commute my contractions started to space further and further apart. This brought me tremendous anxiety, as I did not want to be sent home from the hospital! I was ready.
We checked in to Labor and Delivery upon arrival and were brought into a triage room. At that time, I was placed on monitors and the nurse checked me to reveal that I was 4 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. Due to the fact that I was further dilated than I was a few days prior at my 39-week appointment, they decided to keep me for an hour to see if I would continue to progress. If I did not, it would indicate that I was not in true labor and I would be sent home. After an hour of pacing the halls and bouncing on an exercise ball to hopefully move things along, I remained at 4 centimeters/90%. However, the nurse noted that my bag of water had descended, so she called the doctor for further direction, and he asked that we wait another hour then check once again. After that hour, I had progressed to 5 centimeters and my contractions were anywhere from 3 to 5 minutes apart – we were then admitted! I was overjoyed and relieved; it was time to meet our little boy!
Upon arriving to our delivery suite, my IV was started and all of the intake questions/paperwork were completed. The on-call doctor rounded in our room at 9:00am and did his own assessment at that time. I was nearly 6 centimeters dilated, and he offered to break my water for me since it was nearly there anyway. I decided to move forward with that plan and was encouraged to arrange to have my epidural placed sooner rather than later, as labor can significantly and quickly progress once a woman’s water breaks. I was grateful to have the same anesthesiologist on call who did my epidural for Reese, and since it was a Sunday, he was not in house and needed to drive in. When he was five minutes out, the physician broke my water. My epidural was placed soon after, and initially it was only effective on one side of my body. After some adjustments, I reached the perfect balance of pain relief while also being able to maintain mobility of my lower extremities and moderate sensation of when a contraction was taking place. At that time, my OB was consulted and he decided to come in on his day off to take part in my delivery! It was 11:30am, I was 8 centimeters dilated, and I was told to rest for a bit and notify the nurse when I “started to feel different or felt the need to push”. Around 1:00pm that feeling arrived, and upon assessment I was indeed fully dilated. It was time to set up for delivery! After pushing for roughly 35-40 minutes, our boy made his loud and beautiful entrance into the world. He was placed on my chest as tears streamed down my and Dave’s faces. He was perfect – our family was complete. All of the hardships we went through to grow our family were so unbelievably worth it and God’s presence in the room was tangible. I’ll never forget it – while holding Hayes for the first time I had a flashback of our entire IVF journey. The positive and negative pregnancy tests, the miscarriages, the falling to the floor and the screaming with joy moments. They all brought me to him and his sister. And I’d do it all over again for them.
I remained in the delivery room for quite some time, as I did have some substantial bleeding. This was the same case as my delivery with Reese, but fortunately this time I did not need to receive any medications to halt it. I was monitored closely, then ultimately transferred to the postpartum unit where we began bonding as a family. After 24 hours we were discharged to home, and we were thrilled to introduce Reese to her baby brother! She, too, was overjoyed to meet him after months of anticipation!
An Eventful First Week
Our first night at home as a family of four was beautiful. It was chaotic, but it was beautiful. Bedtime proved to be a challenge as we navigated putting our toddler to sleep while simultaneously caring for a fresh newborn. But people do this all the time right?! That’s what we kept telling ourselves 😊 On Tuesday morning we went in for a bilirubin check, as Hayes had jaundice just like Reese did after birth. At that appointment, the pediatrician did not even advise to draw labs, as he felt Hayes was looking healthy and strong, and had good urinary output to support his jaundice resolving independently. He did, however, tell us that if we noticed increased fatigue and/or poor feeding, that we should bring him back in. As the next few days passed by, we noted exactly that. Hayes was incredibly sleepy and would only nurse 2-4 minutes total during each feeding session. Out of an abundance of caution, I scheduled an appointment at our pediatrician’s office for Friday morning (April 15th), as I wanted Hayes to be assessed prior to the weekend, even if only for my own peace of mind. At that appointment, his bilirubin level was obtained and determined to be within normal limits, but what was odd was his rectal temperature was low. We were advised to monitor his feedings and body temp at home, and were told that if Hayes were to make any sort of notable decline over the weekend we were to bring him straight to Minneapolis Children’s Hospital. Hearing this made me incredibly uneasy, but I was thankful to have clear guidance as we went into our first weekend at home.
That night, I went to feed Hayes at around midnight and despite stripping him down to his diaper, applying cold washcloths and tickling every surface of his body, I could not get him to nurse. We tried a bottle as well, as that was something our pediatrician suggested in order to assess exactly what his intake was, but he had no interest. I decided to change his diaper as a final resort to wake him, as he historically would throw a fit every time I did so. No luck. I then took his rectal temperature, which revealed 95.7 degrees, twice. This level is hypothermic and served as a sign that something was indeed not right. We made the swift decision to once again call Dave’s parents to come over in the middle of the night, as we knew our boy needed attention, and quickly.
I’ll never forget that drive to the hospital. I had my newborn infant bundled in about three blankets in his car seat, sat in the back with him and stared in paralyzing fear of his wellbeing. I ran into the hospital ER as soon as Dave pulled up to the entrance. I don’t think I even waited for him to put the car in park.
The waiting room was surprisingly full for that time of the night, but when the intake nurse learned of Hayes’ age and condition, the NICU team was paged overhead and we were immediately brought back to a room in the ER. From there, things rapidly became intense. Hayes was cathed, had a spinal tap, an IV started and multiple blood draws done (which entailed nine needle pokes as no one could gain access to our poor little guy’s veins). Despite being a medical professional, I could not handle hearing my weak son’s fierce cries and had to step out numerous times. I’m not proud to say that, but I’m grateful for my husband’s bravery as he remained at his side through every poke and procedure. The medical team was assessing for any and all infections, whether they be bacterial or viral. After about five hours in the ER we were admitted to the Infant Care Center, a stepdown unit from the NICU. Hayes continued to be monitored and treated for infection, despite his lab work slowly trickling in indicating he did not have anything notable. We remained in the hospital for over 48 hours in order to rule out anything serious, and ultimately were discharged without much closure as to what caused Hayes to decompensate so quickly and so significantly. Regardless, the IV antibiotics and fluids seemed to be exactly what he needed to get back on the right track. By the point of discharge, he was more awake, feeding double the time he was at admission, and showing signs much more consistent with newborn behavior. This was, hands down, the scariest two days of my life, but I’m so grateful for the healthcare we have access to here in Minnesota, the tremendous caregivers at our clinic as well as Minneapolis Children’s, and our friends and family who stepped up in big ways to show us their support. From meal deliveries, phone calls and texts, to visits to Reese with crafts and activities to make her Easter without mom and dad feel special, we felt the incredible outpouring of love from our community. Thank you all for your support, your prayers and your encouragement.
Adjusting to our New Normal
Once we returned home, we could tell our sweet Reese was so confused about all that had taken place in the first week of her brother’s life. Mom and dad disappeared in the middle of the night not once, but twice, and while she had the time of her life with her loving and supportive grandparents, we knew she was struggling to understand what was going on. We have since done our absolute best to support Reese through this incredibly large transition, and despite her current developmental stage and big emotions, she is doing extremely well having our new family member integrated into our lives. She is enamored with him and wakes up every morning asking to see him. It warms my heart daily, and I cannot wait to watch their relationship grow in the days, months and years to come.
In the middle of the night last night as I was feeding Hayes, I thought to myself how this season of our life feels so difficult and exhausting right now, but it is fleeting. Before I know it, we will have another walking and talking little human running through our home. So I am choosing joy in the difficult moments, striving to embrace the chaos, and letting them “be little”. I am eternally grateful for God and science, which together gave us our perfectly imperfect little family. And I want to thank you all for continuing to follow along and encourage us through our trials to get to where we are today. I will continue to pray for those navigating infertility with hopes to have a family of their own one day. I see you, I hear you, I support you.
All my love and gratitude,
Em
North of Hope 